assault
Why The Keepers is so Compelling
The Science of Dissociative Amnesia in Childhood Sexual Abuse Cases
Netflix’s documentary series The Keepers investigates the mysterious 1969 murder of Sister Cathy Cesnik, a Catholic nun.
The show has received acclaim not only for the suspenseful story but also for its subject matter. Part of the story involves a victim recovering memories of her childhood sexual abuse and how those memories fit into the overall story of the young nun’s murder. But how and why are traumatic memories “repressed” and “recovered”?
What is dissociative amnesia—the correct term for the traumatized mind protecting itself? According to the American Psychological Association, dissociation occurs when a memory is not lost forever but is unavailable for retrieval for some time. Reputable scientists believe that stressful experiences, like sexual abuse, can be so traumatic that the brain protects the individual from the pain of the memory. These blocked memories can cause issues like anxiety, PTSD, and dissociative disorders.
In the cases our firm has litigated over the past twenty years, we have represented several individuals who have experienced dissociative amnesia due to the sexual abuse they suffered as children. If you have not watched The Keepers, please do. I am told the documentary is very affirming for survivors especially those violated by clergymen.
The Law Office of Tahira Khan Merritt exclusively represents victims of sexual abuse and sexual assault. We stand ready to help you with your legal needs. If you were sexually assaulted or sexually abused, our law firm can help explain your legal remedies. For almost twenty years, we have represented victims of sex crimes in civil cases against institutions, including colleges and universities, religious organizations, such as the Catholic church, Baptist church, Greek Orthodox church, Episcopal Church, and Presbyterian church among others. We have also represented victims of sexual abuse in schools, youth sports organizations, youth camps, daycares, scouting and the like. You may confidentially contact our office at 214-503-7300 or through our website : https://tkmlawfirm.com/.
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What To Say When Someone Tells You They Were Sexually Assaulted
What To Say When Someone Tells You They Were Sexually Assaulted
It is hard to know what to say when someone you are close to tells you they were sexually violated. Your response at that time can make a difference. Here are some thoughts to consider:
- Don’t judge. Survivors make an outcry when they are psychologically ready to do so. You should not press for details if they are unwilling to share. It is important to say “it’s not your fault.” They may feel ashamed, concerned that they won’t be believed, or worried they’ll be blamed. Leave any “why” questions or investigations to the experts—your job is to provide support. Let the survivor control the narrative.
- Be Affirmative. Acknowledge the trauma. Say the words “I believe you.” or “You can trust me.” Survivors often blame themselves even if they know the perpetrator. Words matter.
- Offer Help. Part of victimization is feeling helpless. Offer to accompany them to a Rape Crisis Center or go with them to report to law enforcement. The survivor might also need help seeking medical or counseling even if the event happened a while ago.
- Continue to care. Check in with the survivor to remind them you still care about their well-being and believe their story.
- Seek out resources. Become familiar with resources in your community (local Rape crisis centers) or on-line resources you can recommend such as the National Sexual Assault Hotline 800.656.HOPE (4673) and org.
The Law Office of Tahira Khan Merritt exclusively represents victims of sexual abuse and sexual assault. We stand ready to help you with your legal needs. If you were sexually assaulted or sexually abused, our law firm can help explain your legal remedies. For almost twenty years, we have represented victims of sex crimes in civil cases against institutions, including colleges and universities, religious organizations, such as the Catholic church, Baptist church, Greek Orthodox church, Episcopal Church, and Presbyterian church among others. We have also represented victims of sexual abuse in schools, youth sports organizations, youth camps, daycares, scouting and the like. You may confidentially contact our office at 214-503-7300 or through our website : https://tkmlawfirm.com/.
Like and Follow us on social media. We post articles and other information helpful to survivors, including current media on abuse cases nationwide, wellness, self-care and other mental health news.
www.facebook.com/childrensexabuseattorneys
Twitter https://twitter.com/Sexassaultlaw
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tahirakhanmerritt/
How to Recognize the Signs of Verbal/Emotional Abuse
How to Recognize the Signs of Verbal/Emotional Abuse
We all have friends who share with us problems they are having in relationships. When should you suggest professional help or intervention? If they describe any of the following tactics often used by abusers:
- Public embarrassment including yelling, comments about physical appearance calculated to intimate or humiliate
- Threats to reveal an embarrassing “secret” (emotional blackmail);
- Forced or coerced sexual behaviors;
- Stalking behavior with letters, phone calls, text messages, e-mails or surveillance;
- Threatening suicide if they leave;
- Isolating them from friends and family;
- Using technology (cell phones social media) to threaten, intimidate and control their actions;
- Controlling what they wear or their overall appearance to suit the abusers “ideal”.
Emotional abuse can quickly escalate to Physical Abuse. A relationship can be abusive and unhealthy without physical abuse. Loss of self esteem, depression and feelings of worthlessness are common results. Reassure your friend that emotional abuse is NEVER their fault. Tell them help and healing is available. They are worth it.
For more information , please see The National Center for Victims of Crime for more information about Dating Abuse : http://www.victimsofcrime.org/help-for-crime-victims/get-help-bulletins-for-crime-victims/bulletins-for-teens/dating-violence#what.
Lawsuit against Moss Point School District
Lawsuit against Moss Point School District
3/23/2017
Article: http://www.clarionledger.com/viewart/20131218/NEWS01/312180023/Lawsuit-says-gay-students-bullied
By Tahira Khan Merritt
A lawsuit filed Tuesday against Moss Point School District in South Mississippi claims gay students are routinely bullied. The Southern Poverty Law Center filed the case in U.S. District Court against Moss Point School District, board, superintendent and the former principal of Magnolia Junior High School.
The victim, 17-year-old Destin Holmes, alleges she and other gay and transgender students, or those who are perceived to be, are subjected to name calling and other slurs like “freak” and “it”. One student even attempted suicide as a result of the bullying according to the suit papers.
Bullying in whatever form , whether targeting a child’s sexual orientation or physical appearance is totally unacceptable in our society especially our educational institutions. The effects of this form of abuse can be life-long and devastating to victims. Lawsuits such as this one are necessary to hold organizations and individuals who engage in, condone, promote or enable bullying be held accountable.
Texas legal rights
Do You Know Your Rights as a Victim of Sexual Assault in Texas?
If you or a loved one is a victim of sexual assault, would you know what your legal rights are? It is important for victims to educate themselves because the rights of victims of sex crimes vary from state to state. Under Texas law, you have the right:
- To be provided compassionate and skilled treatment in any emergency room (Texas Health and Safety Code Chapter 323);
- To decide whether to file a police or information report;
- To be provided written notice of your rights as well as information and referrals about sexual assault programs, at initial contact with law enforcement (Texas Code of Criminal Procedure Article 56.07);
- To have the perpetrator tested for HIV and receive notice of the test results after indictment (Texas Code of Criminal Procedure Article 21.31);
- To take or decline to a lie detector test (Texas Code of Criminal Procedure Article 15.051);
- To use a pseudonym to keep your name, address and phone number out of public court files relating to your case (Texas Code of Criminal Procedure Article 57.02);
- To be notified of all legal proceedings, including parole proceedings, after making a written request for notification (Texas Code of Criminal Procedure Article 56.02(3)(A), 56.02(B)(7);
- To keep your address confidential upon meeting certain requirements through the Texas Address Confidentiality Program. (Texas Code of Criminal Procedure Article 56.81);
- To have your safety considered by the judge when bail is set for the perpetrator (Texas Code of Criminal Procedure Article 56.02);
- To be provided a private waiting area, separate from other witnesses, before testifying in the criminal proceeding (Texas Code of Criminal Procedure Article 56.02(8));
- To write a victim impact statement and have the statement considered during punishment and parole proceedings (Texas Code of Criminal Procedure Article 56.03);
- To seek reimbursement through the Texas Attorney General’s Crime Victims’ Compensation Program for financial losses resulting from criminal conduct, including medical costs, moving costs and lost wages (Texas Code of Criminal Procedure Article 56.31-56.64).
Why believing victims of sexual abuse is important
Believing Sexual Abuse Victims Promotes Healing
In a February 19, 2014 article from the Dallas Morning News, http://www.dallasnews.com/opinion/latest-columns/20140219-dont-revictimize-sexually-abused-children.ece?nclick_check=1, writers Madeline McClure and April Wilson present an excellent discussion of why child victims of sexual abuse are often re-victimized when they disclose their abuse.
From my own experience as a trial lawyer exclusively representing survivors of sexual abuse and sexual assault in civil cases for the past twenty years, I know it takes exceptional courage for victims of sexual abuse to come forward and tell anyone, let alone civil authorities, about being or having been abused. Unfortunately, when they do, victims of sex crimes are often confronted with public scorn; “Why did you wait so long to come forward?” “Get over it.” “These cases are nothing more than false allegations.”
No wonder, then, victims of sexual assault, especially child victims, are reluctant to tell. Perhaps more importantly, they fear retaliation from their abusers. Or, if a perpetrator is a family member or another person in a position of trust, such as a coach, teacher, counselor, or religious figure( priest, youth minister), this fear, intensified by guilt and shame, can be so be so psychologically overwhelming that childhood sexual abuse may not—perhaps even cannot— be revealed until well into adulthood.
When adults accuse a child of lying about sexual abuse, the victim is “re-victimized”. The initial abuse is woefully compounded. For example, in many of the clergy sexual abuse cases I have handled, if a child has told a parent: “Father X touched me…” , the devout parent’s response is oftentime: “Don’t you lie about wonderful Father X.” “You will go to Hell.” This threat was sometimes driven home by a slap across the face or a thorough beating.
Child abuse is epidemic in this country. As the writers discuss, in 2012 alone , child welfare agencies reported over 62,000 children were sexually abused in the United States. Research indicates that 30-40 percent of girls and 13 percent of boys were sexually violated in childhood. Further, 90 percent or more of all claims of sexual abuse have been confirmed true.
We must acknowledge this stark reality and come to comprehend the truly life-altering damages that victims suffer. Whether victims outcries are timely or delayed, we must empower them to disclose these life-altering criminal acts and assure them not to fear retaliation and re-victimization.
How to Recognize the Signs of Verbal and Emotional Abuse
How to Recognize the Signs of Verbal and Emotional Abuse
Posted on May 17, 2013
We all have friends who share with us problems they are having in relationships. When should you suggest professional help or intervention? If they describe any of the following tactics often used by abusers:
- Public embarrassment including yelling, comments about physical appearance calculated to intimate or humiliate;
- Threats to reveal an embarrassing “secret” (emotional blackmail);
- Forced or coerced sexual behaviors;
- Stalking behavior with letters, phone calls, text messages, emails or surveillance;
- Threatening suicide if they leave;
- Isolating them from friends and family;
- Using technology (cell phones social media) to threaten, intimidate and control their actions;
- Controlling what they wear or their overall appearance to suit the abuser’s “ideal.”
Emotional abuse can quickly escalate to Physical Abuse. A relationship can be abusive and unhealthy without physical abuse. Loss of self esteem, depression and feelings of worthlessness are common results. Reassure your friend that emotional abuse is NEVER their fault. Tell them help and healing is available. They are worth it.
For more information, please see The National Center for Victims of Crime for more information about Dating Abuse: http://www.victimsofcrime.org/help-for-crime-victims/get-help-bulletins-for-crime-victims/bulletins-for-teens/dating-violence#what.
Tahira Merritt
This entry was posted in sex abuse litigators and tagged emotional abuse, verbal abuse
Pamela Anderson blog
This week, actress and animal activist Pamela Anderson disclosed during a speech given at the Cannes Film Festival in France to her animal rights charity—The Pamela Anderson Foundation—, the horrific sexual abuse she suffered as a child. http://www.cnn.com/2014/05/18/showbiz/pamela-anderson-sex-abuse/. She told the audience that because of the abuse she had a hard time trusting humans so animals became her “real friends.” While celebrities often use their fame to raise money and awareness for a cause, to “make a difference” in the world , it is unusual for a famous person to disclose such a private “secret”. Child sexual abuse is still a taboo subject for many. When a famous person makes such a public disclosure they risk scrutiny of their image. For Ms. Anderson who is known for her “sexy” roles and controversial “sex tapes”, could her fans view her differently? I certainly hope so. Ms. Anderson’s brave disclosure could help victims who have harbored painful memories of childhood sexual abuse come forward find their own to voice. She can empower others with her story of survival.